Implied Mortality

To comment on a tv wall mount of this significance requires an astute understanding of the combined histories of walls, tv’s and tv mounts. We begin with the invention of the wall in prehistoric times, the first cave man smashing the earth with his bear hands to form the first cave.

After having smash-built the cave the caveman finds himself dissatisfied with the entertainment options in his literal man-cave. Many, many years pass and after much hard work the caveman invents a tv mount (most would assume the tv would precede the mount, they are not only wrong but dangerously so). As there has not yet been a TV invented the caveman simply refers to his tv mount as a ‘mount’ and begins his search for something to dangle precariously from it. Many more years pass. And many more years after…until finally, in an explosion of eureka’s the caveman invents the first plasma screen HD tv with multiple HDMI inputs, component and rga support (integrated wifi would not be invented until thousands of years later).

Upon completion of his new wall mountable tv the caveman hangs it and laments to find that he has no dvd’s, no wifi and no cable to connect to his newly cave-wall-mounted-plasma-panel. So he watches the snowy noise his tv picks up from the latent background radiation lingering from the big bang and waits for society to catch up with him, build their own damn walls, build mounts for those walls, build their own HD plasma screen tv’s to hang from those mounts and finally…finally create some dumb show to put on that mounted plasma while they play candy-crush on the couch.

http://amzn.to/1MgG8CW

This entry was posted on January 8, 2014 at 9:13 am and is filed under Amazon Reviews with tags amazon, bob vila, caveman, history lesson, review. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.