Archive for April, 2011

Masters of the Universe

Posted in Misc., Philosophy with tags , , , on April 27, 2011 by impliedmortality

Me: I think I just invented a new religion myth based on He-Man…look out Mormon’s, there’s a new crazy in town.

CW: The world needs the wisdom and righteousness of He-Man

Me: Masters of the universe are we my loyal disciples. Send me $20 and unto you the lord He shall bestow glory. Amen.

CW: Maketh not small cheap plastic idols of me or my mountain volcano play-set.

Me: *unlicensed small cheap plastic idols. Think of the merchandising…

CW: Ahh yeah…render only unto Mattel and its subsidiaries.

Me: WhitAck Global Corp.

CW: All Rights Reserved, naturally.

Me: Patent Pending…in fact, you should probably have *** sign an NDA

CW: And a non-compete for when she’s 15 and wishes I was dead 🙂

Me: Ok, I’ll have legal draw up some papers and have them delivered by carrier pigeon (WhitAck Global communicates exclusively by pigeon for security. It limits our opportunities somewhat).

CW: Pigeons for now until we make our first billion or so, then it’s hell-fire armed recon drones.

Me: Freakin’ Sweet! “Hey, shoot me a hell-fire armed recon drone message about our power lunch tomorrow.” will be heard in the office halls and around water coolers.

CW: HaHa, yes! Strike fear into the underlings with heavy weaponry.

Me: “I’m sorry Tod, but you’re Hell-Fired!”

–brief tangent involving Groupon–

Me: He-Man church will have a 5% off your Tithe Groupon
Me: WhitAck Global will have a $5 off your religious figurine Groupon.

CW: Free trucker hat with every fifth conversion!

Me: Heaven on sale this week only!

CW: Hell-Fire missled fired into the competing shrine of your choice.

Me: Bring an impressionable friend, 2 for 1 raffle tickets, punch & pie.

CW: We have the framework, we just have to implement it. People will come ray. People will come.

Me: Bring me my carrier pigeon! I wish to correspond!