Jimbo’s – Glendale, AZ – 3 out of 5 urinal cakes
Old school pissin’ troth with a contemporary and nearly indestructible twist. You really can’t go wrong at Jimbo’s unless you fall in, which should be a concern because it is certainly big enough to fit a person and drinks are cheap so you tend to leave wobbling. There’s not much else going on in this restroom so have your fun and save the aiming for home!
halloween is fun
but don’t you over do it
or you might yack too
oh god i am bored
what can i do to fill time
how about write this
There are no miracles in Ohio.
The state just cannot catch a break.
No there are no miracles in Ohio,
just a fading hope for escape.
There are no miracles in Ohio.
No way to make it okay.
No one to deliver the hope,
to a heartland wrought with decay.
There are no miracles in Ohio.
No underdogs poised to shine.
No last second victors, no hero’s,
no winners parading today.
There are no miracles in Ohio.
None as far as the eye can see.
Lost in a sea of subsidized corn,
the promise of what we would be.
There are no miracles in Ohio.
Even the Buckeye’s can’t put one away.
No there are no miracles in Ohio,
oh how did we all go astray?
There are no miracles in Ohio.
But there will be again someday.
sometimes you just sit
and the world becomes better
call it profound poo
Cali lends itself
To drinks and losing your way
Google maps on phone?
*contributed by guest author ‘Emily’
Steeles – Port Angeles, WA – 2 out of 5 urinal cakes
Not that you would need to see the urinal to know this but people get into fights at this bar. They get drunk and rowdy and (I suspect) tend to treat the facilities (and other bar patrons who had the audacity to commit some perceived injustice) like a punching bag…
Which would explain this over grown tuna can bolted to the wall. While it is unquestionably unique it remains ugly all the same, and it was certainly the highlight of the indoor outhouse.
Average Joe’s – Worthington, OH – 4 out of 5 urinal cakes
As you may have guessed this bathroom got high marks for their creative placement of the Michigan logo, which you can’t help but piss all over each and every time you go to recycle your fresh bud light. In addition (and if memory serves) the facilities were as clean as can be expected of a place that pours light beer for single 20-somethings, so that’s good. Be sure to play grab-ass with the Woody Hayes statue on your way out, its a sign of respect.
More for my own amusement than any actual redeeming reason I’ll be randomly reviewing the bathrooms of various bars, restaurants and venues I visit. As a general rule I will be intoxicated when assessing these and will not be keeping notes so all comments contained in this category will be purely from my alcohol impaired memory. Photo’s will be provided in most cases though I don’t intend to get my face kicked in because some drunk dude thinks I was interested in his naughty bits.
Enjoy!
Implied Mortality 