Archive for October, 2009

Yards of Piss

Posted in Restroom Reviews with tags , , , on October 29, 2009 by impliedmortality

Jimbo’s – Glendale, AZ – 3 out of 5 urinal cakes

Old school pissin’ troth with a contemporary and nearly indestructible twist. You really can’t go wrong at Jimbo’s unless you fall in, which should be a concern because it is certainly big enough to fit a person and drinks are cheap so you tend to leave wobbling. There’s not much else going on in this restroom so have your fun and save the aiming for home!

IMG00353

Halloween Warning…

Posted in Random Haiku with tags , , , , on October 22, 2009 by impliedmortality

hoppy-sloppy-halloween-425

halloween is fun
but don’t you over do it
or you might yack too

Offfice Boredom…

Posted in Random Haiku with tags , , on October 21, 2009 by impliedmortality

oh god i am bored
what can i do to fill time
how about write this

There are no miracles in Ohio

Posted in Misc., Philosophy with tags , , , on October 15, 2009 by impliedmortality

Ohio
There are no miracles in Ohio.
The state just cannot catch a break.
No there are no miracles in Ohio,
just a fading hope for escape.

There are no miracles in Ohio.
No way to make it okay.
No one to deliver the hope,
to a heartland wrought with decay.

There are no miracles in Ohio.
No underdogs poised to shine.
No last second victors, no hero’s,
no winners parading today.

There are no miracles in Ohio.
None as far as the eye can see.
Lost in a sea of subsidized corn,
the promise of what we would be.

There are no miracles in Ohio.
Even the Buckeye’s can’t put one away.
No there are no miracles in Ohio,
oh how did we all go astray?

There are no miracles in Ohio.
But there will be again someday.

Shitty Haiku…

Posted in Random Haiku with tags , , , on October 15, 2009 by impliedmortality

toilet

sometimes you just sit
and the world becomes better
call it profound poo

Going to California…

Posted in Random Haiku with tags , , , on October 8, 2009 by impliedmortality

emscalihaiku

Cali lends itself
To drinks and losing your way
Google maps on phone?

*contributed by guest author ‘Emily’

Bullet Proof Urinals

Posted in Restroom Reviews with tags , , on October 5, 2009 by impliedmortality

Steeles – Port Angeles, WA – 2 out of 5 urinal cakes

Not that you would need to see the urinal to know this but people get into fights at this bar. They get drunk and rowdy and (I suspect) tend to treat the facilities (and other bar patrons who had the audacity to commit some perceived injustice) like a punching bag…

Which would explain this over grown tuna can bolted to the wall. While it is unquestionably unique it remains ugly all the same, and it was certainly the highlight of the indoor outhouse.

Dare you to try and break it!