if it’s not that hard
then viagra can help ya’
now that is simple
Got Wood…
Posted in Random Haiku with tags ed, haiku, stiffy, viagra, wood on March 2, 2011 by impliedmortalityhammer dulcimer
Posted in Random Haiku with tags bad ass, haiku, hammer dulcimer, rock out, rockstar on February 22, 2011 by impliedmortalitySleep Deprivation…
Posted in Random Haiku with tags brain drain, drugs, mind altering, sleep deprivation on February 8, 2011 by impliedmortalityGas Pumpin’ Beats…
Posted in Random Haiku with tags beats, dancin at the pump, disco stew, gas pump, house, rock n gas, techno on January 25, 2011 by impliedmortalityTuesday….
Posted in Random Haiku with tags bored, haiku, tuesday, weekday on January 4, 2011 by impliedmortalityEdgar Allan Doh.
Posted in Fiction, Misc. with tags edgar allan poe, homage, nerdery, poe, quote this., rip-off, the raven on January 3, 2011 by impliedmortalityOnce upon a work day dreary, while I sat quite bored and weary,
over many a quaint and curious volume of technical chore,
whilst I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
as of gentle cyber rapping, rapping at my office door,
”Tis my boss’, I muttered, ‘tapping at my office door –
only this and nothing more’.
Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the cold December,
and each separate blinking pixel wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished for ‘morrow; vainly I had sought to borrow,
from the webs a relief of sorrow, sorrow for the mounting chore –
For the ware and care of never ending systems to endure –
Nameless here forevermore.
And the silken sad uncertain rustling of a solo person
thrilled me, filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
so that now, without remission I arose and stood repeating
’tis my boss harassing, perhaps just passing by my office door,
some late visit, possibly inquisit at my office door,
This it is and nothing more’.
Presently my soul grew stronger, fearing interruption no longer,
‘Sir’ said I, ‘or madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
but the fact is I was mapping and so gently you came rapping,
very faintly you were tapping, tapping at my office door.
Darkness there and nothing more.
Deep down the hallway peering, long I stood quite oddly fearing,
doubting, dreaming dreams no nerd ever dared to dream before;
but the silence was unbroken, and the hallway gave no token,
And there was no word there spoken only darkness and the floor,
Merely this and nothing more.
Back to my desk now turning, all my soul within me burning,
soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
‘Surely’ said I, ‘the janitor must be cleaning this office floor’
Let me see then what there is to see, this office I must explore.
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore.
‘Tis the janitor and nothing more!’
Open here I flung the door, and reams of paper scattered
into the hallway flattered as if someone had adore,
perhaps a shot of coffee, something warm and frothy
a mug of the hot elixir, will my sanity restore.
Is it boredom, nothing more?
Now with my coffee steaming I returned to the office beaming
for there was no noisy rapping, no unfamiliar tapping,
tapping at my office door. Again I gazed with focus,
authoring my hokus-pokus when a wind blew open the door,
stirring papers tattered as they settle to the floor.
God damned wind! Nothing more.
Much I marveled now as I shouted to the wall,
‘might as well start with water, perhaps something a bit hotter
why don’t you light a fire if you seek to end the bore’
And then another tapping, an incessant gangly rapping now much louder than before
It was quite a trouncing, a truly noisy pouncing upon my office door.
I’ve gone mad. Nothing more.
A night before xmas
Posted in Fiction, Misc., Technology with tags admin, ginger bread, IT, parody, server elf, techmas, the night before christmas, xmas on December 20, 2010 by impliedmortalityT’was the night before Tuesday, and all through the house
not a creature was stirring, except for this mouse.
It wasn’t the furry little creature beware
but the clickable scroll wheeled thing right down there.
The admin was nestled all snug and well fed
while visions of data transfers danced in his head.
Wrapped up in a snuggie and wearing a cap
he’d just signed off for a quick kind of nap.
When out on the nets there arose such a clatter
he sprang to login and see what was the matter.
Into the server he flew using flash
to check the event log for reasons of crash.
His face glinting dim with monitors glow
the appearance of sleep deprivation did show.
When what to his watering eyes should appear
but a server elf fixing the things he held dear.
With little elf hands and a tiny mouse click
I knew in a moment that would do the trick.
More rapid than eagles his patches they came
and he whistled and shouted and called them by name.
On Windows, on Linux, and Mac now just listen
I’m the server elf here to make your web presence glisten.
From open source to closed, I’ll download a haul
and update, update, update them all!
Freedom of the press in the United States is protected by the First Amendment to the United States Constitution.
Posted in Random Haiku with tags big brother, censorship, cheat, corrupt, first amendment, hypocritical, lie, rob, steal, us government on December 8, 2010 by impliedmortalityOld Schoolin’
Posted in Random Haiku with tags drifter, here i go again, old school, whitesnake on November 15, 2010 by impliedmortalityDrinkolosophy? Just read it.
Posted in Fiction, Misc., Philosophy, Politics with tags and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances, Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, fear the people, free, freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, politic is relative, The Internet is., U.S., USA on October 24, 2010 by impliedmortalityEveryone (but U.S.) knows,
it’s not the Government you fear.
It’s the people.
(It’s a gift, from some people to all people, forever.)
They are afraid of us. (they should be, they are us, we just don’t know it)
Afraid because of what we have done to them before
and because of what we can do again.
Watch.
Of the people, by the people?
Which people?
Collect the information,
inhale it. Consume it. Know IT.
It is neither write nor wrong,
to know.
If you picked a side…
you lost.








