halloween is fun
but don’t you over do it
or you might yack too
Halloween Warning…
Posted in Random Haiku with tags 2009, haiku, halloween, warning, yack on October 22, 2009 by impliedmortalityOfffice Boredom…
Posted in Random Haiku with tags bored, haiku, office on October 21, 2009 by impliedmortality
oh god i am bored
what can i do to fill time
how about write this
There are no miracles in Ohio
Posted in Misc., Philosophy with tags buckeyes, no miracles, ohio, poem on October 15, 2009 by impliedmortality
There are no miracles in Ohio.
The state just cannot catch a break.
No there are no miracles in Ohio,
just a fading hope for escape.
There are no miracles in Ohio.
No way to make it okay.
No one to deliver the hope,
to a heartland wrought with decay.
There are no miracles in Ohio.
No underdogs poised to shine.
No last second victors, no hero’s,
no winners parading today.
There are no miracles in Ohio.
None as far as the eye can see.
Lost in a sea of subsidized corn,
the promise of what we would be.
There are no miracles in Ohio.
Even the Buckeye’s can’t put one away.
No there are no miracles in Ohio,
oh how did we all go astray?
There are no miracles in Ohio.
But there will be again someday.
Shitty Haiku…
Posted in Random Haiku with tags haiku, poo, profound, shit on October 15, 2009 by impliedmortality
sometimes you just sit
and the world becomes better
call it profound poo
Going to California…
Posted in Random Haiku with tags cali, drinks, google maps, lost on October 8, 2009 by impliedmortality
Cali lends itself
To drinks and losing your way
Google maps on phone?
*contributed by guest author ‘Emily’
Bullet Proof Urinals
Posted in Restroom Reviews with tags bullet proof urinal, port angeles, steeles on October 5, 2009 by impliedmortalitySteeles – Port Angeles, WA – 2 out of 5 urinal cakes
Not that you would need to see the urinal to know this but people get into fights at this bar. They get drunk and rowdy and (I suspect) tend to treat the facilities (and other bar patrons who had the audacity to commit some perceived injustice) like a punching bag…
Which would explain this over grown tuna can bolted to the wall. While it is unquestionably unique it remains ugly all the same, and it was certainly the highlight of the indoor outhouse.
Muck Fichigan!
Posted in Restroom Reviews with tags average joes, fuck michigan, go bucks, worthington ohio on October 5, 2009 by impliedmortalityAverage Joe’s – Worthington, OH – 4 out of 5 urinal cakes
As you may have guessed this bathroom got high marks for their creative placement of the Michigan logo, which you can’t help but piss all over each and every time you go to recycle your fresh bud light. In addition (and if memory serves) the facilities were as clean as can be expected of a place that pours light beer for single 20-somethings, so that’s good. Be sure to play grab-ass with the Woody Hayes statue on your way out, its a sign of respect.
Welcome to the Restroom Reviews
Posted in Restroom Reviews with tags implied mortality, naughty bits, Restroom Reviews on October 5, 2009 by impliedmortalityMore for my own amusement than any actual redeeming reason I’ll be randomly reviewing the bathrooms of various bars, restaurants and venues I visit. As a general rule I will be intoxicated when assessing these and will not be keeping notes so all comments contained in this category will be purely from my alcohol impaired memory. Photo’s will be provided in most cases though I don’t intend to get my face kicked in because some drunk dude thinks I was interested in his naughty bits.
Enjoy!
Motivation…
Posted in Random Haiku with tags don't quit, haiku, motivation on September 25, 2009 by impliedmortality
where do i find it
cause i need some more right now
come to far to quit
Goodbye…
Posted in Random Haiku with tags goodbye, haiku, see ya later on September 23, 2009 by impliedmortality
did i say goodbye
or was it see ya later
i cannot recall
Implied Mortality 