Archive for baseball

Broke a rib…

Posted in Random Haiku with tags , , , on August 12, 2011 by impliedmortality

a broken rib is
a hell of a painful thing
still going to play though

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Ding Dong!

Posted in Misc. with tags , , , , on March 31, 2011 by impliedmortality

Ding dong the winters dead.
Which old winter?
The wicked winter.
Ding dong the wicked winters’ dead!

Missed Connections m4b-ball

Posted in Misc. with tags , , , , , , , , on October 15, 2010 by impliedmortality

We were supposed to meet in right field Wednesday night, but I just missed you.  You certainly made an impression though, one I won’t soon forget.  I will definitely keep an eye on you next time.

Christmasfield

Posted in Misc. with tags , , , , , on December 17, 2009 by impliedmortality

This is meant to be funny but will (hopefully) offend at least a few of you. If you object to my satirization of Christmas then I recommend you reconsider dedicating a month to shopping on behalf of an alleged deity which you may or may not even believe in. If you object to my ruination of John Fogerty’s baseball anthem ‘Centerfield’ then I completely understand and welcome your criticisms.

Well, play the harp and wrap the gifts – the snow came down today!
We’re born again, there’s new gifts under the tree.
Leavin the mall, and headed for home, it’s a brown-eyed handsome man;
Anyone can understand the way I feel.

Chorus:
Oh, put me in, jesus – I’m ready to shop today;
Put me in, jesus – I’m ready to shop today;
Look at me, I can be Santa Claus.

Well, I spent some time in the outlet malls, watchin’ it from the street;
You know I took some lumps when the mob trampled me down.
So say hey Frosty, tell Virginia and mr hanky the christmas poo;
Don’t say “it ain’t so”, you know that Santa’s real.

Chorus

Got a crooked tree, a homemade star, and brand-new box of lights;
You know I think it’s time to give this holiday a ride.
Just to hit the mall and buy it all – a moment in the Gap;
Now you’re broke and you can tell that mall goodbye!

Chorus
Chorus
Yeah!

Play Ball…

Posted in Random Haiku with tags , , , , on April 10, 2009 by impliedmortality

see the ball, hit it
don’t try to do physics
when you are batting

Bud Selig’s a Jackass…

Posted in Random Haiku with tags , , , , , , , , , on February 12, 2009 by impliedmortality

who shamed what jackass
fuck-tard lying sack of pig crap
you knew all along

The 2008 All Star Game

Posted in Philosophy, Phone Posts with tags , on July 16, 2008 by impliedmortality

After 14 innings of “All Star” baseball it was said;

“Sometimes when everyone is trying not to lose no one wins.”